DIVORCED? RE-MARRIED? YES – AND PEACEFUL
BY: SUNNY ORLY COFFMAN
FEBRUARY 28, 2004
When I recently made reference to having been divorced in one of my writings, a reader asked, “How long have you been divorced?” I had no idea what had prompted the question, but I found all of this pouring out the ends of my fingertips onto the computer:
Well, that all happened 1983-1984. I married again in 1995 – only because Father woke me in the middle of the night and told me He was bringing a husband – a family-arranged marriage – and that He would never put me in the dating scene – and that this was His Choice for me and how I could best serve Him in what He had chosen as my path to walk.
True to His word, my husband’s cousin came from Tulsa to Ft. Worth to attend a small meeting and Father showed him who I was [now am] and he went back to Tulsa with my contact information [not that the cousin told me what God had shown him] and told his cousin to call me because he had just been shown that I truly was his cousin’s wife.
My now husband had the same exact reaction I did when he received the news – “…but I didn’t ask for a wife!” “Nevertheless, Father, if this is how I can best serve you…” We had a phone conversation on April 3rd, saw each other face-to-face on April 7th, and married on April 27th. I could bore you with a whole lot more confirmations and details of how Father showed us in a thousand ways that this union truly was of Him. 9 years later… it just keeps getting better!
Our major agreement we made upon coming together was: we would never get in the way of what God was doing, requiring, leading, pruning, etc. in the other person’s life. There are a few times when we have been called to an assignment separate from one another… but they have always been short assignments and when we have come back together, it has been so exciting to share how we have been changed during that time apart – changed even more into the image of Him.
When I have opportunity to counsel folks concerning marriage, I always encourage them to wait for two things before even considering marriage:
1. Allow Father to mature you to the place where He is truly ALL you need in every area of your life.
2. Wait until you hear His voice directing you on this subject.
Otherwise the possibility exists for flesh to still be making your decisions and for you to have false expectations of your mate – expecting things of them that only Father can provide. In such a vacuum, the demands you can place on someone, both physically and emotionally, can suck the very life from the union. Only God can be God.
Many religious folks with assure you that a child of God that divorces must stay separated unto God and never remarry. But as I studied out the scriptures pertaining to that subject, I found that those teachings were referring to having more than one wife [or husband] at a time – not about divorce at all. And, as if I didn’t already get the message, Father spoke very clearly to me about it, also.
Am I advocating divorce? Of course not! What I am advocating is being led by the Spirit of God in ALL that you do and knowing that He will not leave you or forsake you – and certainly not bring you under guilt or condemnation.
May our experiences of being led by the Spirit of God in this decision – concerning marriage after divorce – be an inspiration for you and whoever you may share it with!
DIVORCED – RE-MARRIED – YES – AND PEACEFUL [Sunny Orly Coffman] 2-28-04 1