FEAR OF APOSTASY
BY: FRED PRUITT
DECEMBER 29, 2005
I think for you what might be good to do is to not let some “possibility” of apostasy haunt you.
Where do you live? In Christ? Certainly you do!
So then who has you, who is responsible for holding you up, for keeping you from falling, for leading you and guiding you, for imparting wisdom, for giving you His kingdom? Is any of that up to you, or is it up to Him? If not up to you, then trust that He has you and He is faithful to bring you eternally into His bosom, for that is, after all, where you live now, and always have since receiving Christ into you.
I couldn’t answer you at first because I thought you were wanting some sort of academic answer, sort of like something for a test in a classroom – i.e., a “piece of information” rather than something having to do with your life. And when people ask me questions like that I usually get stumped at first, because I think I’m to give a classroom answer, but then I realize that something must be provoking the question, and I become more interested in what has provoked the question in you than in the academic answer.
When you asked about that 1 John scripture about “a sin unto death” and the opposite – a sin “not unto death,” nothing came to me to answer. But now I see what troubles you.
All that is part of coming to the end of yourself, because fear of death is the deepest part of coming to the end of ourselves. The fear of physical (or spiritual) death is not necessarily conscious with us, but it is more subtle in everything of life underlying all. We are self-survivalists all at our depths, while we hold onto ourselves as selves who must protect ourselves, save ourselves, uphold ourselves, be “more responsible” selves, because any hint of that, any hint of “I can do” or “I should do” IS what the Bible means by the mind of the flesh, or in Old Testament terms, “the accursed thing” – that IS sin, which is fueled by the devil, but that is all any of us have ever known from birth, and in those of us who are brought face to face by the Spirit of God through Christ in us with our own nothingness, our own lack of ANYTHING, of any ability, of any talent, of any wisdom, of any facility by which we could rightly judge or weigh anything good or evil, when we find we are losing that very self we’ve always known we were (because all our lives we have found and defined ourselves as this thing and that thing,) and then every self-definition and every self-protection and every self-upholding we call “ours” the Spirit starts kicking out from under us, and it strikes absolute terror at some point because we realize what the issues really are – the issue really IS life and death of an eternal nature – serious serious matters – and we are struck with terror because we realize there is a fire to fall into and to be burned up in, and we don’t know if its the purifying fire of God whereby He refines us to a pure gold object of His own making, or if its the fires of eternal hell come to consume us and eternally destroy us.
But He upholds and brings you through, by in that fire revealing Himself first in that fire of fear and loss, you find God IN the darkness – and then He rises in you as light and blessing, and you then realize that now having lost everything you have found Him Only as All, and you then become through that same Cross-life the daily outpoured life of Christ in your world.
Yes, there are those verses that talk about the possibility of apostasy, and we don’t deny them nor say they don’t mean what they plainly say, but we don’t walk there, do we? We are of the One Who has saved us and has promised to walk us through any wilderness and desert and to sustain us all along the way, who has said He would never leave us nor forsake us, that he would uphold us, from start to finish, from Alpha to Omega, every moment of every day.
We live there, because by grace he lives that in us, and right there is where we rest, trusting in the Unseen One wholly and in no other. Blessings in the Lord Jesus Christ, brother!
FEAR of APOSTACY [Fred Pruitt] 12-29-05 1