DECEMBER 15, 2002


Beyond the veil, beyond the natural, beyond the mind, beyond the letter

As a young Christian I remember the joy of the first love and the first conscious kiss of God. It was so wonderful and fresh and powerful. It was as if the whole world was new to me. I thought I was in heaven! I thought life would never be the same for me. I thought I would never have to sin again and that I could now live a victorious life. I thought God would never stop loving me. I thought I was clean from all my sin. I thought I was born again. I thought He had forgiven me. I thought I had met God face to face in Jesus Christ. I thought I would live in this joy for the rest of my life. I thought I would never worry about anything again because He was here and would take care of me. I thought this is Life Eternal and I have it now.

Then they came to me and told me this was only a glimpse of what heaven will be like, and then I died to my dream. I worked hard to get back to the garden. Read my bible everyday, memorized four scriptures everyday, prayed privately everyday for two hours, witnessed to everyone that seemed to listen. Went to church every Sunday and Wednesday – never missed a meeting for four years straight. Went up for every dedication service. Listened constantly to the radio and programs and read books but my dream kept fading away. Sin still held me and some sins even escalated. I became known as the walking concordance or the walking Bible friends called me Dr. John. Yet my thought was that I had “lost” my first love. Then it happened. I was burned out by my religious life. I told God if I memorized the whole Bible (and I was well on my way) fasted more than most people will do in a lifetime and prayed six hours a day would it be enough to please Him?

I began my church search and ended up in almost every denomination known (and made) by man and found myself again empty yet excelling beyond many of my peers in knowledge and wisdom. I remember one night pushing through the emotions and physical exhaustion of “being faithful to go to church.” On the way the Lord spoke to me and said, “where are you going?” I said, “To church to get to know you.” He said, “Why don’t you stop your running around and spend some time with me?” I had to discern and make sure it wasn’t the Devil talking to me because you see God would never tell you not to go to church or would he?

I told Him that the word could give me nothing more I had so much scripture in my head, I could quote them for the preacher and if he didn’t know where a scripture was I had them trained to just give me eye contact and I would pop the reference out of my head. Oh that made me feel so good but I was empty of the life of that word. I asked God to show me something more in His word. He did better than that He brought me into the Spirit of the word. I cannot explain but only state that all the word that was in my head started falling into my heart.

Years before God had been dropping words of knowledge into my spirit but these were frightening times for me because I had no idea how God worked in those days. I was taught all supernatural gifts were nonexistent. Yet God would give me visions of what would happen that day and they would come to pass and I would not do what he showed me to do. At these times I felt bad but would excuse them as “Coincidence” (Yeah really? I say now how blind can a bat be)!

Now I started to grasp what the Master said, my words are spirit and they are life. I thought my God I think I just got “saved” I inquired of a man that I thought was spiritual and he said don’t measure where you are on the eternal helix. That really stuck with me because as the years went by I saw this whole thing of eternal life was bigger than any yardstick that my mind could measure with. Then I saw I had been hoodwinked and led astray by religious men. I will not lie and say that I did not go through a time of bitter resentment against the institutional seminaries and churches that stole my dream. Until the Lord revealed that I let them steal my dream. You see friends, that dream never died it just got snuffed out with all the teaching of men and hypocrisy and religious blindness. I had become a Pharisee. I died many deaths to the life of Christ in me. If the light that is in us is darkness how great is that darkness.

I know now that God allowed me to be a Pharisee so I could see everything through their eyes and the eyes of those who follow men, because they don’t want to follow God. I thought I was following God yet I got the pricks of His Spirit but disregarded them. How merciful and wonderful is our God who holds nothing against us. I know because he has done it for me. Back to the dream. God is presently in the “process” of showing me there is no process. This is the lie that holds every man Christian or non-Christian in bondage. The gospel is the completed life of God presented to us in the Lord Jesus Christ and accepted by faith only. The deception for many starts when they hear a warped gospel message that goes something like this.

You need to repent of your sin and receive Jesus into your life. Now a lot of people would say that sounds right but it is twisted and not truth. First the Bible speaks of a repentance toward God – not sin. This is the first infusion of sin-consciousness. I am not saying people do not need to realize their sin but this is not the Gospel. Remember gospel means good-news. The true repentance is toward God. That is we need to change our minds toward God. He loves man, seeks man and saves man. He is not imputing their trespasses unto them this is the word of reconciliation we preach. The second lie is “receive Jesus into your life.” The truth is you need to receive him as your life. Their is no life but in Him. Many Christians spend their whole life trying to fix up the old man (an impossible task because he is already dead) because they just added Jesus to their present existence with hopes he will bring them through the process of change.

God is not into fixing up the carnal man.  That man died on the cross – in Christ. This new life is God’s own life hid with Christ and found only in him. [Christ is God’s Lost & Found Department] The religious-natural-carnal man has come up with teaching that accommodates this “so called process” of growing into Christ-likeness. This is carnal thinking because is at ENMITY WITH GOD. It is not subject to God and indeed cannot be subject to God. It sits in God’s temple (who you are) as if it is God. God has taken us beyond this physical realm. This is where we live and reign. Many theologians have come up with terms like positional truth and progressive sanctification etc. These are the thoughts of carnal men trying to accommodate a life of faithless existence. The fact is we are now complete in Christ, we are seated with Him in HEAVEN and our spirits are joined with him. Oh but you say, “I don’t see HEAVEN.” That is because you are not operating in the faith of Christ. Just because you don’t see doesn’t mean it isn’t so. Do you see God or Angels? We put no confidence in the flesh but know that God can only be worshipped in Spirit.


JOHN’S TESTIMONY [John Stolwyk]          1


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