SEPTEMBER 16, 2012

When you have a few people who are kind enough to comment favorably about what you write, it is easy to become a bit smug. The fact that apparently the detractors quit reading long ago and went off to bother some other poor soul who puts to print what he or she is feeling, seeing and experiencing doesn’t mean that I don’t get a few well-deserved corrective barbs.

Most people who write me nowadays seem to recognize that I come from a place of genuine humility not arrogance. Yet I do come from a place of confidence in my partnership and feel called and even chosen to share it with those “who have the ears to hear.” By partnership, I mean that “I” can do nothing. The healing power and spiritual healing all come through me from our (your and my) SPIRIT-PARENT, including the declaration I AM!

Before we really get going here, let’s start out with the basics. I have and am nothing in which to take personal pride …failures in many areas of life and accused of wrong-doing in other arenas about which I can honestly and objectively claim total innocence. But wait a minute …the entrance to partnership for me began with a simple understanding that makes proclaiming my innocence about anything just plain silly!

Still in preamble, folks, LISTEN UP! I’m not beating up on myself, I’m simply admitting failure where it is clear enough that there is no mistake about it. My entrance was stumbling over a truth purportedly to come through the mouth of Jesus. That truth started thusly. If you look at another person with lust in your heart …you’ve already committed adultery …guilty as charged!

By that standard, particularly in this day and age (you can draw your own conclusions to what I’m saying here) EVERYBODY is guilty of adultery. If you’ve been angry (just angry, mind you) with someone …you have already committed murder. If somebody has something you like and you’d like one too (I realize that is a higher standard than most people would put on the “sin of covetousness” …so draw your own conclusions about that as well) – we are talking about human behavior and human thought patterns and I, personally, know of NO SINGLE PERSON who, by Jesus’ definition (including Jesus, by the way), who isn’t guilty of one or all the sins of adultery, murder and covetousness.

Even the guy who wrote the majority of the New Testament, following the Gospels and the book of Acts, made this rather astonishing admission: “Why am I always doing the things I know I shouldn’t be doing and why do I find it impossible to do the things I know I should be doing?”

He ended this rather large confession with, first, a lament, “What can such a sinner as I do?” …and then the solution he found, “I thank God that there is a way of escape through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

That this provided “solution” of the writer, Paul, has so many interpretations on it is rather confusing to say the least. I can only tell you what happened to yours truly …beyond that I don’t know squat!

I wrote a poem about it while driving across the southern Idaho desert. It came to me in a flash and I had to stop at a little grocery store at the side of the highway and pay a dime for a paper bag as the grocer had no other paper available. Here goes:

Jesus told a story about a couple of gents,

A bit confusing – doesn’t quite make sense;

These two men went up to the temple for prayer,

And the story, in its entirety, takes place right there;

One looked good, especially in the eyes of man,

He did everything right, ‘least nearly as anyone can;

He didn’t even lie, steal or cheat!

Twice each week he didn’t eat!

In contrast the other guy didn’t look so hot,

Readily admitted that his life had gone to pot;

Since he didn’t know what else to do he beat on his chest,

Then he cried out, God be merciful, I’m far from the best;

Then comes the part of the story that confuses folks the most,

It’s what Jesus said about this second guy, who didn’t boast;

Jesus said he went home justified in God’s sight,

Instead of the other one who looked so right!

This puts reasoning about what puts man right with God defied,

As for me? (Beating on my chest) I just want to be justified.

The poem came to me while driving a tractor trailer rig from Denver, Colorado to Portland, Oregon. Three days earlier, going in the opposite direction, I had stopped at a motel in Caldwell, Idaho for the night. It was about 6:00 p.m. Sunday and I was “out of hours” to drive any further legally without an eight hour off-duty period, duly cited in my log book.

That morning, a simple song had come to me, the chords and all, “Turning it over to Jesus.” It was quite catchy and the last line was “turning it over to Jesus – grace sufficient for all my needs.”

I couldn’t stop singing it with utter gratitude. I was very happy about something that had occurred in my trucking business, and I remember thinking, “I don’t deserve this.” Like a “flash out of the blue” the thought came to me, “You don’t deserve eternal life either, but you have it.”

After asking the desk clerk where I should park the sixty-foot-long rig, loaded with lumber, and was told it would be okay to park it on the street just beyond the driveway into the motel parking lot.

I parked, made my required entry into the log book and was about ready to get my overnight bag out of the compartment below – I looked out the expansive windshield of the “cab-over” Freightliner and saw a theater marquee on which was emblazoned: “Church of God where everyone who has an experience with Jesus Christ is a Member.”

“Wow,” I thought, “that’s my kinda church!” I got down from the cab and walked over to see if there might be any times listed and a man was just coming out and gave me a friendly greeting and asked if I needed something. I told him I had just parked the truck, pointing over to it, for the night and noticed the sign and it impressed me and was just wondering if anything was going on this evening.

He told me I was in for a treat …several churches were getting together for a time of sharing and testimonies and there’d probably be some good music – it was a very casual affair, he explained, and anybody that wanted to play something or just say something was welcome to do so.

I said, “Gee, I got this song that is burning a hole in my head that came to me on the way over from the coast and maybe he’d let me share it. He got all excited and wanted to hear it right then. We went back inside to this empty theater and I told him I’d have to figure out the chords on the piano for a moment and plunked away until I got it down.

“You’ve got to come and share that tonight, would you mind?” He told me the time and insisted that I not eat anything, he and his wife would love to have me over for dinner after the service – I went back to lock up the truck, make a last minute, walk around check and take a shower.

The service was very relaxed and there were almost no “churchy” kinds of stuff …just people sharing and this guy who I’d just met, moderating. I got lost in just listening to the excitement of simple farm people sharing what Jesus meant to them.

I was a bit tired; having been up since about 4:00 a.m., loading at a mill near Tillamook, Oregon, 400 miles to the west, around 6:00 a.m. I had lost all my earlier enthusiasm for sharing the song. About an hour into things I was simply enjoying and thinking ahead to the meal I was going to get …I was STARVED!

He awakened me out of my reverie by announcing to the crowd that they had probably noticed the truck with all the lumber on it parked across the street and he briefly shared our conversation and asked me to come up and teach the congregation the song I had just “written.”

I shared how it had come to me …being so grateful (for whatever it was that I didn’t deserve and about which I now have no clue) and the thought that hit me hard that I didn’t deserve eternal life either, but that I had it.

It probably took twenty minutes for everyone to get the words to the song, I’m sitting at the piano urging them to sing louder and louder and finally got off the stage to a thunderous applause …a great display of ego, right? Confessed!

Now then, why did I go through all that? It was 1962, FIFTY YEARS AGO! The best I can explain is that I’ve been thumped by an e-mail from a woman a couple of days ago that I should get back to basics. What basics – I finally asked of our SPIRIT-PARENT SOURCE.

A basic that is part of Brad Cullen’s connection to and partnership with SOURCE …no matter what new thing I learn and share and for the past twenty-eight months of partnering with publisher Ryan Bruce, there has been a ton of learning and growing …and Ryan and I have a deep belief that we are supposed to share what we are “getting” from SOURCE, but not to urge anyone to do what we do, or believe what we believe, but rather we continually beat on the drum that everyone should go directly to SOURCE who/what is available 24/7 and has promised that availability to anyone who pursues UNTIL breaking through.

After wondering what was nagging at me for a couple of days starting with the above referenced e-mail admonishment that I should get back to basics, I finally realized with absolute clarity that it was “my” basic to which I needed to return – not forsaking any of what I have learned lately, particularly over the last few months, but I came to the realization that being troubled was ridiculous and trying to use any of the “modalities” that Ryan and I share to get over it was just as ridiculous. 

What puts me back in a state of extreme, results-activating, healing power and spiritual healing from the SOURCE is pounding away – starting with my chest and then keep pounding and demanding for clarity and when it came – so did the memory of this little song and the poem.

Sharing that poem with guys in places like bars and having it be the entrance to see that no matter how screwed up their lives had become, there is a way out …and this is it, for me and that they got it as well convinced me that I was correct to share it back then.

…and, Ryan, like it or not, this is what I got for today. Sure works for me!











PARTNERSHIP WITH SOURCE [Brad Cullen] 09-16-12         1


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