PERFORMANCE ORIENTATION – ROOT and RELEASE
BY: SUNNY ORLY COFFMAN
AUGUST 10, 2006
[An E-mail sent by a precious friend, whose name has been withheld for her own privacy’s sake.] My own comments back to her are interspersed throughout the letter in burgundy.]
Original Message – Sent: 8/10/2006 1:17:55 PM Subject: FYI: Latest Journal entry, so you know what God is working in me… Does this make sense? Or a better question might be – from what you know – am I perceiving accurately?
JOURNAL NOTES: ROOT OF PERFORMANCE – MORE STRIPPING FROM IT AUG. 9, 2006
For some reason, I felt to get and read again from The Transformation of the Inner Man by John and Paula Sanford. In re-skimming it (may have been somewhere in pages 41-70,) I was reminded that as one who used to perform to get acceptance, like I did, doing what I knew I was supposed to do to get my love and affection and acceptance, but is not necessarily who I really was or how I was really feeling inside. Therefore, unknowingly to myself, I often hid my true feelings even from myself and thereby denied who I really was or didn’t see my real self. I got lost. That is often how I still feel now that I am getting freer to see clearly. Who am I really? More important, who am I in Christ?
MORE IMPORTANTLY… WHO IS THIS CHRIST SPIRIT DWELLING IN YOU? IS HE GUIDING YOUR STEPS OR NOT? I HEAR A LOT OF WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT YOURSELF… BUT WHAT DOES HE SAY ABOUT YOU? IT’S SURELY ALL POSITIVE AND NOTHING ACCUSING, QUESTIONING, OR RIDICULING!
What I read today said that people like me or like I was, look for someone to tell us what to do so we can do it for them. I have been frustrated in my walk with God as I have been trying and trying to get God to just tell me what to do and I will do it. Hearing has been a problem for some reason even though I try to keep my heart as clean as I know to do. This performing or ‘religiously obeying’ doesn’t seem evil or wrong as that sounds like the goal—to listen to and simply trust and obey God. That is what my religious self and teachings seem to say.
YOU WILL JUST “KNOW” WHAT TO DO… NOT ALWAYS NECESSARILY “HEAR” WHAT TO DO!
But I just got a glimpse of the awareness that it is still trying to please God, to get accepted by my works or from doing what I think He tells me is His will. It sounds so noble and so spiritual. But I am sensing, for the first time really, that there may be a higher or deeper work being done to make me more like my Father. Somehow I need to be conformed to His image, not perform my view of His image. TRUTH DECLARED: I will be formed or made into actually becoming His vessel, a part of the real Jesus, made by His Spirit’s inner workings, made by His Hand, cut out of the mountain by no man’s hand, including my own. I somehow will be transformed by Him and for His glory to become more like Him and operating out of His heart within me, not myself trying to do in a right hearted manner what He tells me to do. I do not know if this book said all this, but something I read made this idea come alive and into my heart and head. So I thought it was worth noting lest I loose it in the busyness of the day.
GREAT INSIGHT – GREAT LIBERTY ON THE HORIZON… JUST READ WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN AND THEN CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT! IT IS THE CHOOSING TO BELIEVE THAT WILL BRING FORTH THE MANIFESTATION!
It really is all His doing, so I can rest…finally rest IN HIM and IN HIS LOVE, which I do not need to earn, which never fails, which will never leave me or forsake me. Gosh, what a God we belong to! He is so faithful and will complete what He began.
THEN, QUIT STRUGGLING – ROLL OVER AND PLAY DEAD AND LET HIM HAVE THE REIGNS – NOW!
You are precious – your insight is awesome – your desire to serve is refreshing – and all you have to do is roll over and smell the roses, sweetheart – you’re there and just don’t know it – or don’t want to believe it.
SOME FOLKS ARE MUCH HAPPIER WHEN THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT! BUT IF YOU EVER WERE ONE OF THOSE FOLKS, YOU HAVE BEEN DELIVERED FROM IT TODAY!
Your sometimes too truthful sister that really does love you and is applauding in the wings as you now make your debut on the REAL STAGE of LIFE – SCRIPT WRITTEN BY FATHER before YOU WERE FORMED IN YOUR MOTHER’S WOMB.
PERFORMANCE ORIENTATION – ROOT and RELEASE [Sunny Orly Coffman] 8-10-06 ~LETTER 1