SHAME AND TRAUMA
RAYS OF TRUTH NEWSLETTER No. 41 – FEBRUARY 2003
THE DOORWAY TO ASCENSION
BY: ROKUS den HARTOG
THE GRAND LADY IN THE HARBOR
THE TRUE IMAGE OF MAN
JESUS, THE FAITHFUL WITNESS
SHAME, THE PORTAL TO OUR HUMANITY
CLEANSING THE EMOTIONAL BODY: A STORY
EMPOWEMENT FOR RESURRECTION
THE GRAND LADY IN THE HARBOR
There is a statue of a woman that stands on Ellis Island in the New York Harbor. She stands there as the symbol of Freedom and Justice, the awesome dream of human kind. You may have climbed the 284 steps it requires for a visitor to look out the windows in her head and have seen grand view of the harbor. If you have, you probably have also been in the special room below the Statue of Liberty. This room is a museum that commemorates the design, promotion and construction of the Statue. There, center stage, is a one-foot tall image of the grand Lady, a perfect replica one would assume. In fact it is truly not a replica at all. If either of the two statutes, the Grand Lady in the Harbor or the small statue in the museum, could be called an original, it would have to be the small one below. It was the original model that was used to promote the idea of the Statue of Liberty and to raise the monies needed for its construction. The greater truth of course is that neither the final image that now stands on Ellis Island nor the model that stands in the room of History are the true original. The true original was the conceptual image in the mind of its creator, Frederic Auguste Bartholdi.
While the Grand Lady in the Harbor was yet an image in the mind of her creator, this small model could be looked upon and the creator could be heard to say…that is what she looks like gentlemen, is it worth your time and money to invest in her? In his mind the image already existed. All later forms were only manifesting something he always knew, understood, and wanted to be conveyed.
THE TRUE IMAGE OF MAN
At this time of human history, the true image of man is appearing into view. Our point of recognition comes from the reality that Jesus, known as Christ, brought to us two millennia ago. Long ages of longing and desire have passed. Many imaginations and dreams of utopia have come and gone. Empires have risen and fallen. Doctrines and philosophies have passed in the same way. But now all creation is beholding, through its tear stained mind, the image of its creator as it appears in the form of man.
We are the first to have conscious awareness of that awesome image, that grand appearing, that wonderful knowing called Immanuel, God with Us. It is awakening in your hearts like a long forgotten memory come back, like a longing we have always felt but could never focus. It is like a dawning we always knew was to come but could never truly visualize. Now that we see its first rays, and feel the first tremors of its beauty, we recognize it without a doubt and without deep questioning because of the great upwelling of Joy in our hearts that comes with it. We know this joy to be the witness of truth we have sought for.
JESUS THE FAITHFUL WITNESS
It is written that two witnesses shall establish every word. What is that second witness that we need? It is that small image, that initial coming that first appearing that showed forth our truth so long ago. It is the man of Galilee, the one our soul has loved more intensely than life itself. Do you remember the awesome words and feelings that came when you sang: “I would rather have Jesus than houses or lands…I would rather be led by his nail scarred hands.”?
Then came those wonderful and horrendous days when you realized that the Jesus your heart longed for, although He truly was Historical, was so much more. He was Wonderful because He brought new hope and Joy, but horrible because it was so hard to let go of old belief systems. He became a living Presence, an entity that comforted you and whispered in your ear… “You too can overcome as I did”…. When the rubber hit the road, He was there to greet you, to help you, to comfort and strengthen you by His Spirit when you found that you too had to go “without” or “outside” of the Camp in order to meet your destiny. You had to go outside of your accustomed circle of associates and friends in order to embrace your incarnation, your crucifixion, your roadway to destiny and appointment.
Then came that even greater shock when you realized that the Jesus of Bethlehem and the Christ you met on your road was also your brother. He was your nearest kinsman, your sister, the one you experienced union with. And so through awesome pain and glory you experienced an awakening no preacher could ever tell you about. No man could conceive this knowing into your virgin mind. This could only happen by the eternal truth awakening from the Ages of Old, from a land before time, the awakening of the real you, the word that becomes flesh.
Although we have known Jesus, we have never truly seen Him as the true and faithful witness to the image of greatness that we are, the collective appearing of Christ on the flannel graph of human consciousness. Only now is He being revealed to us as that witness. We see Him first in the wooden manger of humanity. He’s in the barn full of hay and animal dung of the human intellect that we prized so greatly, our learning, and our feeble understanding. We see that the Christ child we celebrated every Christmas is the awesome reality of our own being coming from the realms of Glory and Light into this human form. It has been hidden by our limited awareness of self, but is now awakening. Oh holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the night of the dear Saviors birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining till He appears and our soul knows its birth…Finally we understand why we were so charged and inspired by those beautiful Christmas Hymns.
We have seen him at the river Jordan when the voice came from heaven saying, “This is my beloved Son.” This was the revelation of Sonship, born from Latter rain. It swept the earth until today all charismatic teachers understand some form of what was called the message of Sonship. We have seen that to have dominion over all limitation is our destiny, although that consciousness has been trapped in linear time. What do I mean by that? Our awareness is trapped because we were always looking for some FUTURE time when we WOULD become the manifested Sons of God. Nevertheless the power of that small image was at work. It was slowly stimulating the eternal realm, embracing reality in us. The awakening had begun and there would be no way to hinder its full birth.
Today we stand at the awesome threshold of fully seeing that Jesus, as The Son of Man, came and walked out His Journey. Even to the detail that He insisted John, His lesser, baptize Him. We see that His crucifixion truly showed our crucifixion. We were not crucified on a wooden stake as He was. Instead, we were crucified on the wood of our own humanity when we took on human form with our kind in the Garden of God. Our crucifixion came when we were lowered in hope. We gladly and willing continued our great journey of separation so that our Father’s Great Heart might experience all of Himself as us and so enter the very creation that had gone on its long journey of separation.
No word of truth has done more to break the shackles of shame, condemnation, and fear from our hearts than the awesome awareness that it was God Himself that wanted and desired and even passionately longed for a greater experiential knowing of His great Self. To do this, He so initiated the thought of duality within His own being. From the beginning, sin and evil were needed. Entities of Light became entities of Darkness to serve the great purpose of the Father. The duality and contrast of good and evil were needed to make the Journey of separation seem real.
In order for you and I to truly grasp the depth of our pain and separation and break the bonds of denial and shame that kept us from understanding, the Son of Man took upon Himself our sense of sin and shame. He went into the most lower parts of our hellish experience and cried out with a loud voice: Eloi! Eloi! Lama Sabachtani? My God! My God! Why hast thou forsaken me? He gave us the voice we needed. He cried out for us what we in our pain and separation could not understand. Truly He was bruised so that we could in Him become free to experience the iniquity that was part of our destined journey.
It is by looking at him, the image that appeared for our redemption, that we are able to break free from the denial that keeps us in repeated cycles of death and the grave. This imprisonment to the body and mind connection always tries to define us and never can. It is by looking at Him and seeing Him bear His shame, seeing Him spit upon, lied about, jeered and bruised that we are able to accept that our journey of shame, rejection, denial, and abandonment was not the result of sin or mistakes. Even as His path was a chosen journey of redemption, so was ours. Not now only as one Who Showed the Way, but as a collective company to set creation free from its bondage to a material consciousness that witnesses itself in death and decay.
SHAME, THE PORTAL TO OUR HUMANITY
It was Shame that began our entrance into this material realm. It was shame that made us seek a hiding place from the projection of thought that questioned our truth and validity. It was Shame that had to come through a lie to take hold of our hearts and enable us to take the plunge into the separation of Adam’s experience. This experience is like a death that we have shared in Him these many long ages. There was a phase we came through, as Light beings, on the path of our chosen and intended lowering. During this phase, it was said of us: “They were naked and were not ashamed.” Another way to say this that gives the sense of the truth conveyed would be: “They were truly intimate and exposed to one another and had not yet experienced shame.” It was only after we entered a greater degree of duality, when our gender was separated, that we became vulnerable enough to accept a lie. It was a lie that questioned our very validity. Not of what we did, but of who we were.
I was recently given a book called “Power versus Force.” I believe it is truly a breakthrough book. By means of Kinesiology, the Author, over a period of twenty years of testing and with the assistance of many others, claims to have come up with a consistent vibratory scale to compare a large number of things. What I have found most interesting is his comparison of the full range of human emotions on a logarithmic scale. (Logarithmic meaning that each time you go up one level you multiple by a factor of ten). On this scale, Love as a human emotion measures at 500 whereas Shame, the lowest of all emotions, measures at 200. This measurement confirms to me what I already understood about the identification in Genesis of shame as the Emotional Doorway through which we entered and became locked into the physical experience.
Another friend showed me a book written to instruct on the use of essential oils as a healing art. In it the Author states that the essential oils, each for a specific emotion, help a certain portion of the brain trigger a specific memory trapped there from a past trauma. The trauma itself is stored in specific organs but the memory must be accessed through a sense of smell provided by these essential oils. I would not be as impressed by this information if I didn’t have an experience to support it. The Spirit showed us a specific incidence wherein a dear friend was released from a childhood entrapment of shame. It happened in our home and the key elements of released memory came from the sense of sight and the sense of smell.
These two recent happenings, reading the book: “Power versus Force” and our experience with the essential oils, have further made me look at the event that the Spirit orchestrated in our home. I want to elaborate on it because I believe that it is a mini-event that illustrates the dynamics needed to release us from toxic shame. Shame that became the doorway for our incarnation and now its release signals our reconnection to former knowing, our return to the Father of Light and our own Eternalness.
CLEANSING THE EMOTIONAL BODY: A STORY
At 4 in the morning, I awoke and went downstairs to put wood in the fireplace as I often do. I had forgotten that our friend was sleeping on the couch. As I came into the room, semi dark, I noticed that she was looking in a hand mirror. It did not seem strange to me, but she started to explain to me that she was trying to deal with what she called self-loathing. Someone had suggested she look in the mirror and reprogram her self by telling herself that she was a good and worthy person. We briefly discussed the subject and as I went to walk back up the stairs I turned and said to her: “Maybe something happened in your childhood that caused you to feel this self loathing.” On my way back to bed, I passed by the children’s bedroom. Eva, then 13 years old, had a sister and cousin visiting with her from Oklahoma. I believe this was Thanksgiving time when we have an annual weekend of meetings. I opened the door, just to check on them and noticed a pungent odor. I remember wondering at what it might be but strangely enough I did not investigate further. I had hardly been back in my own bed for fifteen minutes when a tumult erupted in the house. I ran back to the girl’s bedroom to find smoldering blankets and a room full of choking smoke. Apparently a curling iron had mistakenly been turned on instead of off and had become lodged under Eva’s pillow. The curling iron was a total meltdown, only the metal parts were left. An inch deep circle a foot in diameter had burned down into the mattress. Eva had soot under her nose. Cornelia, the older sister had aroused the other two, Frieda Ann and Eva, and hurried them out of the room. As Eva ran down the stairs carrying a smoldering blanket with soot on her face, our Guest looked up. She saw Eva and remembered. A memory of her childhood flooded back. She too had experienced a fire. In her case, as a small girl, she had used a light bulb from an Easy-Bake oven to read by. The light bulb had become lodged under the pillow, caught fire and she had to escape a burning house. Her family’s small home with all the unopened Christmas gifts were destroyed by the fire. As she remembered the incident she remembered the shame she had felt when her mother said: “Look what you have done!” Here, locked away in her memory, was the key that explained all those years of self-loathing.
Why did this memory release and healing come to her at this time? Clearly she was ASKING: Why do I have such deep feelings of self-loathing? This also was a time for this woman to begin a major unfolding of her life in PURPOSE. The child that initiated those feelings of self-loathing no longer exists, but the feelings have persisted into adulthood. That child could not truly understand the experience. But now the adult can. She can know, can understand, and can adjust and relate. She can put away the lie that controlled so much of her life. She can take responsibility for her own experience.
Now I promise you I am delighted for every person who experiences healing of the inner child, or release from past trauma, both individual and genetic. But by far the greater message from Spirit to us is that we are standing at the Cryptic Edge of awakening as we begin to understand our own beginnings in the incarnate realm. We begin to see not only the true purpose of our taking on flesh but also the dynamics by which we took it on. As it was written of Jesus…because the children partook of flesh and blood he likewise took upon himself not the nature of angels but the seed (genetics) of Abraham.
EMPOWERMENT FOR RESURRECTION
The sacred secret that was kept from the Angels and from Man is now being opened to us…Why? Again, Jesus, the Pattern Son, the Forerunner, the Way-Shower, the Way-the truth-and-the-Life, reveals the answer. Jesus, speaking of His own crucifixion, therefore of your incarnation, makes the following statement: “No man takes my Life from me. I have power to lay it down and power to take it again. This commandment have I received from my Father.”
Where did Jesus say that His empowerment came from to walk His overcoming Journey? Clearly stated here, it came from a speaking from His Father. A “speaking” requires a “hearing.” A hearing requires access to the eternal store of Living knowledge and Intelligence that the Father is. It requires a place and a state of union. We too then are accessing our powerhouse, our empowerment through our connectedness in the Light who is our Source, our Father. This access to the greater knowing can only be attained as we open the gateway, the door, which is our emotional being. We open the door by removing those things that lock it. That is, we cleanse our emotional being of Shame. How do we do this? We have to go back to where it happened! Like an orchestrated experience or smell, like an essential oil, we need a replay of those events that caused us to be lowered into this physical plane and into these matter bodies. Jesus is that image. He is that one-foot-high replica that provides the essential trigger experience to effectively release us from the trauma experienced in our incarnation. It is shame and self-loathing that keeps us from accessing the Father and our true knowing. This knowingness empowers us and we use this empowerment not to lay down our life but to take it again. This is the hour of the resurrection of Adam Man; this is the time of our awakening. The eternal dawn happens when we remember who we are and how we came. Without the seeing of the man Jesus and the hologram that He is in the human experience, it is not possible to release the trauma and to access the memory that clothes us with the glory we had with Him before the worlds. Only the remembrance of that union and that oneness can empower us to complete our mission and set the creation free from its bondage to materiality. In this comes to pass the saying: “No One cometh unto the Father but by me.”
Just when the wisdom of this world wants to say that Jesus must take His place among the Masters, which He truly is and does. Just when the religious world is receiving a revival of the knowing of Him as Savior and again would lead us to the altar of forgiveness, that every man must certainly experience. Just when man is starting to shake himself free from long, long centuries of bondage to the intellect, to religion, to the ego and all its powers, to material wealth and political power, there comes a whole new vision and awareness of the truth that Jesus brought to this plane so long ago. An event that was heralded by Angels singing: Peace on Earth and goodwill toward all men. That peace truly has come in the hearts of those that believe but it yet remains to come in an outward way to this planet. Only this present awakening of the human spirit, this present reconnection to His eternal Truth and Knowing, can bring forth Paradise on earth, the utopia of every dreamer, to hope of every man.
I have great news for you who have not heard! The truth you need is here. It is available. You need only reach out and take hold of it. It lies within you. It is beyond the entrapment of illusionary shame, beyond the mis-identifying powers of the ego, the limited self, beyond belief systems and a material consciousness, but it is there, in you. You need no special tools, no mantras or incantations, no rituals or vows, no crystals or special doctrines. Although all these do have some kind of place, all that you need if you have come with me, if you too are one that comes from Mount Zion, all you need to do, my reader, is LOOK at HIM, and let yourself see yourself in Him and as Him.
SHAME AND TRAUMA – The Doorway to Ascension-RAYS of TRUTH NEWSLETTER [Rokus den Hartog] 1